Finding You, Finding Me
by Sophia LaRue
Summary: A story about heartbreak: Bella has suffered a great loss in Edward's departure, but what happens when the danger he was trying to protect her from was the fate she was destined for? Will they reunite or be lost to each other forever? Has OC
1. Chapter one: Gone

Chapter one: Gone

My eyes stung as I finally let them close, too dry to stay open. My body sunk deeper into the inviting ground. The pain was due to the fact that there were no more tears in me. There was no more fight in me. The words, the emotionless flat words he uttered to me ran through my head. He didn't want me. Those words touched every fiber of my being and drain the life right out of me.

My legs no longer functioned as they curled into my chest, molding with the damp, dirty leaves that nestled around me. The cold rain was welcomed. It was the only soothing comfort I had left. As each drop grazed my skin, its heavy touch reminded me of his ever feathery fingertips on my body. He did not want me – the words flashed across my aching eye lids, reverberating in my mind. They repeated themselves over and over agin until they blended into one word. One final word in his musical, vibrant tone.

When my body ached for more air, I reluctantly complied. The dizzying effects were somewhat soothing. It was good to know that I would have some form of release from this turbulent painful reality. I needed something else. I needed something more, but my feet could no longer carry me through the darkening forest.

My futile quest to find him was failed before it began. His lightening speed would never let my weak, ungraceful feet find him. After all this was a decision only he could make. The decision in no way could be affected by me, because I would always need him. My weak human heart would always beat for him. My muddy memories would always be best when they thought of him. My mind would always recall his beautiful voice in perfect harmony and pitch, because I was his -- wanted or not – I was his.

I cringed when the concentrated stream of light hit my eyes. The shaky stream darted around the dark forest. My eyes were open now, but my body was still frozen. I could not respond when I heard the frantic, urgent screams of my name. I was sure I did not want to. None of the harsh, booming voices were the right tone. The voices calling my name did not belong to the right person. I did not belong to them. Not anymore. I belonged to only one. I could only answer for him. His lips should be the only to utter my name.

I lost time. I didn't know how much, because the sky was still dark but the forest was quiet now. I wasn't sure how long I laid here. Time only existed with him. The seconds felt like forever. Time crawled, not sure of when I would see him. I wondered where he was. With his speed he could be clear past the country, maybe even half past the globe. My body shuddered at this thought. The more space there was between us, the more the expanding of my lungs hurt. I wished there was a way to stop them. It shocked me I was still able to breathe without him – not knowing his good bye was cemented in his blatant departure.

My body shifted toward the unnatural breeze that rushed past me. It could only be caused by one reaction. That was a breeze I felt only in his presence. My eyes darted around the dark forest, trying to find the direction it came from. Maybe ... maybe. I couldn't bring myself to complete the thought. I tried to focus, steady my gaze. I couldn't quite see clearly without the light and the pulsing pain in my eyes did do much to help the matter.

"Edward?" the name seemed strange now leaving my lips with the accompanying ache in my heart. I felt a tight grip on my arm. Tighter than it should be. Then the hand picked me up, but my feet didn't reach the ground. I hovered as my eyes still couldn't make out the image in front of me. I wasn't sure what to fault: my sluggish brain or pain ridden eyes.

Then I saw the fire. The fire red hair. But that didn't scare me, once my brain put it together. My captor wasn't the one I hoped but Victoria. It seemed only right for fate to play this trick.

"Not Edward," the words wrapped around her slithery tongue.

That affected me. The name she snaked around her tongue ripped at my heart and washed another round of pain to every inch of my body. The name that caused me so much hope, joy and pleasure before now wrenched despair and destruction throughout my body.

"He would leave you ... alone?" Her head twisted around, searching for him. I wanted to tell her not to waste her time but I couldn't even muster enough energy for that. "His presence is long gone." She said, sniffing the air once more. I wasn't sure if she was asking me or confirming her suspicions.

I let my eyes close again when the dull ache became too much. I did not want to concentrate on her form anymore. It wasn't the one I wanted to see. I didn't yelp or scream when her grip became tighter – not even when the other cold hand curl around my neck.

"Surely you have a scream for me." It wasn't a request. She brought my face lower to met with hers. "Open those pretty eyes." She squeezed my throat tighter when I didn't comply. I welcomed the dizzying blackness and disregarded her words. I didn't bother to make them out as I slipped into the inviting murky waters. I wanted them to swallow me whole.

I spit out the gush of water that hit my skin and face with cold daggers. My hands tugged at the wet clothes where they clung to me. That was not a welcomed sensation. It reminded me of his cool touch, one I was yearning for. My body was weak, not from the pain but sleep. My atrophied limbs felt like they had not moved in days and there was a building ache in my stiff neck. The discomfort was nothing compared to the emptiness inside me.

"You had me worried, Bella."

That's when I noticed my eyes didn't sting as they focused on the graceful, taunt figure towering over me. She had a bucket in her hand, still dripping with water. I stifled a shiver. From the cold or the sight of her I wasn't sure. Words still couldn't find me so I narrowed my eyes. It was futile. I was no match for her because no longer did I have my protector.

"I guess we're not gonna have girl talk."

The pout that graced her face was disarming. I would've insisted we did if she weren't a sociopath. In an instant she was sitting next to me, stroking the damp hair out of my face. That's when I felt the restraints in my failed attempted to distance our bodies. She had tied my arms and feet together. As if I could out run her, I thought with a dark chuckle.

"I know he left," the tone of her voice was one of pure concern, for who I wasn't sure. "And I know the despair you feel, because I feel it to. But you see, his was a choice, mine was not. He walked away from you, Bella."

In her blood red eyes I saw that for this one moment we were united in the pain we shared. We were simply broken hearted girls.

"James did not – would not leave me." And the truth in her words would have caused tears to gush forth if I had not used them all already. "I will find him, Bella. And when I do, you will watch me destroy him. I will destroy that last bit of hope you have."

The sincerity in her eyes overwhelmed me. This was not a threat, it was not meant to scare me but prepare me. She wanted me to writhe in this information. She would take pleasure in knowing the dread I felt, the helplessness I would feel – much like she felt when news of James' death reached her. She wanted me to know that no amount of planning would deter his inevitable fate and for that I cursed her.

"No!" The word burned my raw vocal cords as the scream escaped. "Take me instead." This was the last thing I would give him. I would give him the future without me, he so desperately wanted..

Her slow smile did not reassure me. Her mind was set. "I have other plans for you my dear."

The gleam in her eye made my stomach turn and I wriggled trying to create any kind of space between myself from her teeth. That's when I noticed the bed I laid in. It was quite plush for a torture chamber – but I wasn't in the dark. I was in a room that seemed to belong to someone. I was in a beautifully decorated room with fresh flowers, burning candles and open shutters that let some filtered moonlight into the room. This was not a setting for my murder. This was something else... something I couldn't wrap my mind around.

Her hand clamped my arm, bringing me impossibly closer to her. Her next words terrified me. "I have a present for you, Bella."

The way my name slid sickeningly sweet out of her mouth unnerved me. She leaned in, closing any space between us as she placed her cold lips onto the nape of my neck. My instincts surprised me. I did not back away. I did not fight. I leaned into her embrace as her other hand slid down and rested on the small of my back. When her welcomed teeth sank into me – breaking my skin – I finally understood my reaction. I pursed my lips effectively stifling the name I longed to utter. I closed my eyes and I imagined the razor sharp teeth connecting us were his. I imagined that his venom was the one poisoning my system so that in this last loving act, he was binding me to him. A moan escaped my lips at the thought as I succumbed to the cleansing fire that now spread in my veins.


	2. Chapter two: Awake

Chapter two: Awake

Fire, all I remembered was fire. A wrapping, engulfing flame. I remembered a brilliant white burning fire. And that's it. I slid my tongue over my razor sharp teeth and when I breathed in the sweet smell burned my throat. More fire, I thought. My teeth snapped shut and I assessed my surroundings. My clothes were filthy and bloodstained. The were leaves in my hair and mud stains on the plush white duvet cover. The dirty fabric did not feel good against my skin. I got up and disrobed, enjoying the gentle warm night breeze that filled the room with delicious smells. I was hungry. That I remembered. The feeling needed to be quenched.

I changed into a flowing emerald green silk dress, laid across the chair at the foot of the bed. That would do nicely. It flowed with me, caressed my skin as I moved. I didn't feel the need for shoes. They would only slow me down. I pulled the elastic out of my hair. The auburn tresses fell against my shoulders and down my back. I growled in approval at my reflection when the leaves fell from my hair.

I sniffed the changed air around me. There was another smell, not one that made my mouth water but caused my body to crouch into a defensive position. I saw a blur of red and then a graceful taunt female standing before me. The growl that escaped me was a warning, that she seemed to find amusing. I snapped my teeth at her showing off my arsenal.

"I see you like me gift." Her smile did not calm me. She was not someone I was aware of. "I found him. Alone." The words she uttered did not make sense, I would need to form an attack plan. "Edward is here–" those were the last words I let her speak as my hand crushed her throat in an immediate vice.

I did not know what caused the attacked, but I did not hold off. I jumped on her, wrapping my legs around her to steady myself as my teeth busied themselves first with her neck then her limbs. I heard words gurgling in her throat and in one quick motion my foot stamped on her jaw into the floor, effectively breaking it.

Her muffled words angered me. She was not inviting. I felt the hate radiating from her. When I licked her blood off my lips, I was surprised by the scenes that flashed in my mind, memories. They were not mine. They belonged to the now dismembered, broken creature. I felt the pull – she was drawn to the blonde man in those images. His stance showed his prominence, his power but it did not appeal to me.

My mind worked quickly to deduce this revelation. I could see her memories – when I tasted her blood. Her blood was repulsive, her brand of venom did not appeal to me – but I was curious at my power. I sniff once more toward her slowly wriggling corpse and with two fingers I touched her blood and then darted my tongue at them. Another memory. This one was not as focused. It was of another man – no – it was a vampire with dark hair and golden eyes. My mind rejected this image. There was no reason for the strange reaction. When I darted my tongue out for one more taste the image did not appear again. Not even in its hazy form.

I decided it was time to leave. I could stay here no longer, if her mate was to return. As I walked out the door my dress caught on the dresser and when I tugged to release it, a burning candle fell to the floor. I jumped back at the puff of purple smoke that filled the room as the fire spread to the body. When I realized the damage the fire did to the creature's body, I turned and took my exit at vampiric speed as the growing fire overtook the house.

When I reached the streets I was met with an array of aromas. They were dizzying and I breathed each one in, tasting them against the burn in my throat. My eyes settled on a giggling couple sitting on a bench. Their scent was much stronger than the rest, perhaps it was the elevated hormones pulsing through their system or the emotion that surrounding their aura – whatever it was they were absolutely appetizing. I wanted to see their memories – perhaps theirs would be more vivid than the now destroyed creature. I wanted to understand what they felt. I yearned to know the feathery caress he placed on the girl's cheek.

My pace slowed as I approached them. They were the only people for miles and the darkened sky covered my advances. I hummed an unfamiliar tune that crossed my mind. It lulled me as my instincts told me to rush, to devour these feeble creates and drink their singing blood into me. But I had to calm myself ... and the couple. The melody worked its magic. As I reached my destination, I feel tell it was working. Their hearts slowed, disregarding the heated activity they bodies were occupied with. The passion crazed intertwined limbs, now lazily hung together, the fever gone.

My eyes fell on the boy first. His gaze was already on mine even before I stopped in front of them. He seemed to be calling to me with his eyes, but I knew this was an affect I was somehow eliciting. I would have to learn how to control it in the future. That would make hunting much easer. He rose, dismissing the hushed arguments from his partner. He walked to me as I willed him and when he stopped in front of me awaiting instruction, I made sure his mate was watching. There was a thrill in knowing that she was see him enraptured by me. When my teeth sank into him, I ignored the sadness in her eyes and broke our connection. That emotion was one I somehow knew on instinct alone. It was not one I wished to share.

A primal growl escaped my lips as I tasted his potent, pheromone ridden blood. It flowed freely from where I bit. It was burning hot and I sucked hard, momentarily releasing my hold on the boy. He yelped in pain and I beckoned him once more. I wanted to enjoy the pleasant memories not the painful ones that flashed in that moment. I closed my eyes and released the girl from pull as I moved at vampire speed with her lover still in my arms. I sensed the confusion she felt when she realized she was alone once her conscious came back to her. I completely severed our connected as the sadness fully over took her.

That emotion was a darkness that clouded his. His feelings were strong for her, I reveled in the love. That was an emotion I could get lost in. It wasn't like the pull the creature had to her mate. His was filled with something else, something pure. There was an innocense in his adoring memories. I whimpered when the images stopped. He was dry and the end came too soon. I was just beginning to understand the array of emotions he felt in their connection. I definitely needed another subject. This was something I needed to explore. That feeding not only sustained my bodily desires but my emotional ones also. It was an ethereal experience.

As his body dropped in a thud to the ground, I noticed the pout on my face due to the emptiness that remained. I delved deeper into the woods, the setting feeling familiar. It was familiar, but different all at once and my sharp eyes focused on the new images. The moon seemed to shine brighter bringing a spectrum of colors into the night as the dimly lighting sky took over. I wasn't sure if I enjoyed this empty feeling. If given the choice I would feel the emotions of the boy I just drained but the empty feeling left a sense of clarity. There was no insecurities or uncertainly that came with his muggy human emotions.

I hummed the unfamiliar tune once more, sure I should remember it. But there was nothing. There were no memories or images of my own. I only had those of the dead vampire and the drained boy. What human memories did I have? I wondered what my memories would look like – if felt as strongly as both those creatures did toward their mates to someone, anyone? I shook off a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. I was sure if I did, that would be a memory that could not disappeared. That revelation left a nagging question: had my memories disappeared or did I simply have none? The thought lingered as I purposely got lost in the woods, enjoying the feeling of the earth in-between my bare toes.


	3. Chapter three: Forks

Chapter three: Forks

Today was the anniversary of the day I woke up. It has been sixty-three years. Sixty-three years since the day I conquered the fire haired vampire and tasted the delicious boy. The nameless town that occurred in I later discovered was Port Angeles. I still had no idea of my connection to that town or memories before that day. My coven – family – assured me it was nothing to fear. There had been instances of vampire who could not recollect their human lives, but this was something that happened over time. My father, Rangi, calculated that I was indeed a newborn due to my ravenous thirst and lighting reflexes. I happened upon him and his wife, Lela, almost a half year to the day I woke. He was impressed by my gift and somewhat pitied me in my solitary, offering a place with them as long as I desired.

They revealed to me later that I was not the only special one. Their gifts were quite different from mine. They were born, yes born, to human women, with the exception of their son Skylar ( whom Lela created when she discovered she could not reproduce). Lela and Rangi were well over three hundred year of age, Rangi being older by a decade but their youthful appearance showed them as twenty-four to the human eye. Skylar was turned when he was sixteen. Lela found him alone and starving on the streets of New York during the depression. His parents had passed, his mother to starvation and his father committed suicide when he lost his money in the crash.

Rangi, a scientist, guesstimated I was seventeen when I was turned due to adolescent markers he noticed. At first the dynamic was strange to me – not having any memories of ever belonging with or to anyone did not help – but as I fed on humans I elicited certain familial feelings. They helped me acclimate myself to my new family. Even though my hunts were discrete and I discarded of the bodies carefully, Lela and Rangi requested I stop.

The family had a special diet, which turned my ruby red eyed golden. I did not like it, the diet or the new eye color, but tried my hardest because of the feeling Lela elicited in me. Her maternal feelings overpowered my rebellious emotions. Because I still missed the connection I felt when feeding from humans, I did slip at times and over take a boy in love. The love ridden boys were my favorite flavor and minds to watch.

The women were a little shaky. Their despair always jarred me from the experience. One woman's thoughts haunted me for a month. That was the last time I fed off a woman and a human thirty years ago, so when I walked down the streets of town today and smelled the most appetizing boy I'd ever come across it took all I had to control myself. It wasn't for fear of exposure because I became quite an expert in cleaning up my messes, but it was because this town was already marked by other vampiric scents. I couldn't risk a territorial battle with ruby eyed vampires. They were stronger than us because of the potency of human blood.

We'd just moved to Forks and I didn't want my family to have to move so soon due to my weakness. It was the last few days of summer when Skylar and I went to the local high school to register for classes and the delicious aroma of love in the air was still too much for me to handle. Skylar as a favor registered for my classes while I took a run in the woods behind the school building to clear my mind.

When I ran through the woods, the familiar unrecognizable hum came to my lips once more. I ran aimlessly into the woods and twenty-seven minutes later I came to a stop in a beautiful clearing – no it was a meadow. The meadow was littered with yellow and white daisies in the tall grass. I kicked my shoes off and skipped into the grass reveling in the feeling that washed over me. The feeling pulled at an unfamiliar image. A hazy image, one I had long ago. This hazy image was of a dark haired golden eyed vampire – when I focused on the image and the feeling at the same time a pain ripped through me. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground clutching the place where my heart stood still and gasping for unneeded air. It was not a feeling I enjoyed!

My teeth snapped shut at a noise seventy yards away. It was accompanied by a sickeningly sweet – familiar – smell. The smell attacked my nostrils and I spit the venom out that pooled in my mouth. It was not something that caused me pain, but disgusted. Disgusted accompanied by something else – a strange overwhelming feeling and need to kill. But I wasn't hungry and there was no way this new scent was appetizing. I left my shoes in the clearing and ran top speed opposite in the direction. I wasn't sure if I feared the creature or the pull I felt toward it. I wanted to stay and find out which it was but the uncertainty of the situation warned me to run.

I came to a stop when I was out of the shelter of the woods and a silver car zoomed past the school parking lot – a Volvo, I think. I wondered where Skylar was. We needed to get on our way. The aroma was back and at full force. I beckoned to him, while humming the calming lullaby to myself. I chuckled at the memory of Rangi naming my song: the lover's call. He joked that even without the song I could still conquer any man I desired. That's how he settled on his name for me. Without any human memories I had no idea of what I was named.

"Stop it, Velia." Skylar walked up to me slightly rubbing his ears, "you know I can't resist when you do that."

A feathery giggle escaped my lips. "That's the point. What took you so long anyway?" I reached out for the schedules and grimaced when I noticed we had all our classes together. "You don't have to babysit me you know." It came out with an unintended growl.

"Lela requested it. She still worries about you." He appeased.

"It was one time. I slipped up one time over thirty years ago and it hasn't happened since,"I huffed. "And she wasn't even worth it." I mumbled hopelessly wishing he hadn't heard it but his laughter needlessly confirmed he had. I hit him hard across the chest and dared him to race me home, when I noticed the parking lot was empty and there was no witnesses around.


	4. Chapter four: Bella's Lullaby

Chapter four: Bella's Lullaby

I hummed the lullaby in a low pitch, undetectable to humans, to calm myself as I gazed out the window. I missed the sun in Brasil in the secluded village we lived in. There you could ran and sparkle in the sun without worry. Here there were rules. I wasn't a fan of the rules. I liked to be free and not have to feign human weakness and the sluggish human pace during the school hours. Another thing that disgusted me was the food they consumed. It did nothing for their smell. Certain food caused my nose to turn up.

Forks highschool was the most enclosed school I attended. The rooms were packed with smelly humans – only a few appealed to my specific thirst. This was something that Lela and Rangi hoped would help me restrain myself. I was used to living in self-induced seclusion and sharing only in human memories to quench both my thirst and curiosity. I had no desire in the mundane routine of their lives, that's why I was selective in whose memories I shared.

The always grey sky did not do much for the humans' moods. It actually caused them more dull moments. A lot of these humans suffered from mild depression caused by the muggy weather. The hormones secreted during those bouts caused them to smell appalling, almost unappetizing and their memories were definitely not things I wanted to share in. I guess that is why Lela was convinced this would be the perfect place to settle down in. So I could not for her sake let her know the restlessness I felt or the episode that happened in the meadow a week before the fall semester commenced.

I went to the last class on my schedule thankful the first day was coming to a close. When I rounded the corner and entered the Chemistry lab, it amazed me the feeling that washed over me. There was a sick feeling of nostalgia as I walked to my lab seat. This overwhelming feeling intensified when a girl with pixie hair walked into the classroom. By her smell, I knew she was not human. But the smell didn't take me by surprise – it was its familiarity – a little off but familiar non the less. I looked over my shoulder as she took her seat. She seemed somewhat reserved. Her mood was also as mundane as the human who sat beside her.

I tried to shake off the feeling as it caused my eyes to sting. That was a new feeling too. It felt like when I was experiencing the memories of humans crying. It was not something I wanted to revel in so I started humming the lullaby to myself again, too low for humans to hear. Two things happened at once. Skylar elbowed me in the ribs and asked me to stop in a pitch too low for humans to pick up on it and the other was the trilling ring of the pixie's voice as she said in the same inaudible pitch, "Bella's Lullaby."

I looked over my should once more, my brow furrowed. I wanted to ask her to repeat the words, but I already new what she said. I had perfect recall. Perhaps she was a creature from my unidentifiable past, I was sure if I met her as a vampire I would have had a clear memory tucked away somewhere. I returned my gaze to the blackboard when the teacher cleared his throat, impatient by my disobedience.

"Sorry." I mumbled and turned my nose up in a scrunch at his smell as he walked past my lab table, continuing his lecture. He smelled like garlic and asparagus, which wasn't masked at all by the heavy cologne he applied.

When the lecture was finally over, I turned ready to walk up to the pixie and question her about her knowledge of the melody but something stopped me. It wasn't the hand that Skylar placed on my arm. It was a pang the place were my heart stilled. It was a fraction of the overwhelming feeling I felt the day at the meadow. While this pain wasn't as great. It was enough to stop me in my tracks.

"We need to go." I whispered in a plea to Skylar. As he hurriedly picked up my bag and books off the desk, I assumed he thought my need for departure was due to my lack of restraint but I didn't correct him. I wasn't sure of what to say. Would I let him know that I was scared because seemingly unprompted feelings were surfacing.

Lela and Rangi were concerned as to why my feelings weren't as available as everyone else's. A majority of the time part I had no feelings, no reactions. There were strange times that prompted a reaction out of me – like when I snarled at an innocent Skylar about our identical schedules – and there were times I should have a reaction but didn't – like when anyone referred to my past, not the one I remembered but the one that remained a mystery. Lela felt uneasy about my nonchalance and Rangi feared that my non-reactions were building to an explosive release.

Before I reached the calming crisp air outside, I felt a firm grip on my wrist and I turned around expectantly. It wasn't Skylar. It was the pixie. With an eyebrow raised, my gaze fixated on her grip. She released my wrist with a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry. I just ..." she trailed off.

"Yes?" The pang that tugged at my motionless heart was duller than before.

"You look familiar." It sounded like an accusation.

"We just moved here."

"We?"

"My family and I – my brother, Skylar and I – registered for classes last week. We're juniors." I don't know why I offered the further explanation.

"Oh, welcome to Forks. I'm Alice." She extended her hand and I shook it. Against my better judgement, I returned her warm smile. When I didn't offer my name she continued. "You look really familiar. Like a friend I used to have–Bella." She blurted out the last part but her rushed speech didn't mask the urgency.

"My name is Velia." My tone came out clipped and I smiled awkwardly needing to break the tension I created, I asked "What happened to your friend?"

"Ugh..." Her bottom lip quivered. Definitely a vampire, I thought to myself, a human's eyes would be glossy with tears by now. She dug something – a newspaper clipping out – of her knapsack and handed it to me. "Here."

I hurriedly read the news article, a low gasp leaving my lips. It was an article detailing the investigation into the mysterious disappearance and subsequent death of a girl named Isabella Swan. The Forks and Port Angeles police declared it a closed case and cleared Edward Cullen – something tugged at the back of my mind and the pang in my heart become more apparent – of any involvement after remains and items belonging to Isabella Swan were found in a burned down home in Port Angeles. It stated that her father, Forks Chief of Police, Charlie Swan died five years before the discovery and fervently worked to solve the case before his subsequent death, seven years after his daughter's disappearance. From the smell of the newspaper, I surmised the clipping was over to fifty years old – maybe fifty-two.

"I'm sorry about your dead friend." I emphasized the dead part, letting her know it couldn't possibly be me.

She didn't flinch, just continued with her question. "Did you look at the picture?"

I flipped the clipping over and when I saw the picture there was a resemblance, but I was sure I would remember. I would know – if that were my human life – if there were people I loved... I shook off my doubt and handed it back to her. "Like I said Alice, I'm sorry for your loss."

I turned to walked away when I felt her gentle tug and tears would have been in my eyes if I were human at the torn expression that now adorned her face. "I know it's you, Bella. It has to be." Her voice broke on the last sentence. "For Edward's sa–"

The hand on her throat cut her off. If took a second to realize it was mine. And it took great effort for me to uncurl my fingers. I tried to shake off the reaction not knowing exactly what triggered it. Perhaps Rangi was right in his concern. There was nothing she said that could have provoked me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to – I have to go –" And with that my vampiric speed carried me home, disregarding the few human witnesses that lingered in the parking lot.

I didn't stop until I reached the house. Lela and Rangi were not home yet. Lela was meeting with contractors about renovations and Rangi was working at the local hospital. He worked in the research department. He was currently working on trying to cure human diseases like cancer. He loved a great puzzle.

I ran up to my room and shut the door behind me, sinking down against the door. I rested my head against my knees. I needed to control my emotions before my family saw me in this haphazard state. They would definitely over react – but wasn't it warranted considering I almost started a brawl with another vampire? I pushed the thought aside and tried to focus. I finally had to hum the lullaby to myself to calm down – as my eyes closed, settling into my relaxation two word's gently tugged at the back of my mind: Bella's Lullaby.


	5. Chapter five: Velia the Conqueror

I hope you guys are enjoying the story ... I would love some feedback, but ca sera sera. Anyway we're almost halfway done. The story is taking an unexpected turn but turning out nicely. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Chapter five: Velia the Conqueror

I convinced Skylar not to mention anything to our parents about the incident, which he witnessed or the fact that I had not returned to school in four days. I would leave the house in the morning and take a run behind the woods instead of going to class. One time I was so worked up I almost ran to Vancouver. Today against my better judgement I decided to revisit the house that held my first memory. I ran to Port Angeles and followed the familiar path past my first hunt and to the house.

As images of my first day of life flooded my mind, it started to click together. My mind rushed over the details provided in the article and locked in on the address along with the day of the fire. It clicked when I counted the days backwards – maybe I was...

My legs rushed in the opposite direction. I ran as fast as I could back to Forks. This was too much. I raced back to the school needing to speak to Skylar. _Hopefully, he can make sense of this_. He would calm my irrational fears and remind me of who I really was. He'd call me Velia and joke about my lover's call. Because it my lover's call – it was not her lullaby. In my nervousness I did not trust myself to go into the school so I rush back into the cover of the woods and ran to the meadow. I hummed – louder this time knowing that I was too far to entrance humans. I just needed Skylar.

I ignored the blurred ethereal being that sprinted to me. I was not calling for her. My eyes closed and I calmed the tremor in my hand along with the urge to grab the pixie by the throat again. I focused on beckoning him. _Skylar_. I needed his certainty. I hummed the tune as my frenzied feeling dripped into the sound, making it stronger. He would be here any moment.

"You should stop. You're going to call," I heard the friction as she rubbed her throat before continuing. "him." I ignored the emphasis.

"Alice, stay out of this. She's dead."

"I've seen what's going to happen – you can't handle it. If you remember anything remember that you shouldn't bet against me."

I ignored the meaning behind her words and hummed louder. I beckoned him my need intensifying. When the new smell mixed into the air it took me by surprise. I opened my eyes to identify the familiar smell – the ache in my heart grew – immediately breaking the call. I sucked in the unneeded air. _I can't do this_. He wasn't who I was calling. The confusing reaction wasn't one I wanted. I needed to calm down. This needed to stop. "Skylar." The booming roar of my voice scared even me as I called out.

"Isabella – Bella."

The voice had a calming effect. Not like the sight of him – that had the opposite reaction so I closed my eyes and elicited his timber.

"Who are you – why are you doing this to me."

"Bel–"

"My name is Velia." I didn't sound as sure as I did when I told Alice last week.

"Like the conqueror?" When I didn't answer, he continued. "I know my Italian myths. She is the goddess who conquered all men. Much like you conquered me... Bella."

My teeth snapped at that last word and I glowered at him, finally opening my eyes. "That. Is. Not. My. Name." The anger in my voice confirmed the statement – but images / feelings / memories tugged at the back of my brain. Maybe... "Who are you."

"Bella, it's me. It's Edward."

Instantaneously my hands wrapped around his throat as my eyes darkened. That word – that name – I shook off the hazy image – the hazy image that the fire haired vampire's blood contained. As my hands tightened around his throat I noticed he wasn't fighting back, his eyes were pleading – begging almost – for another kind of release. There was a sadness – I shook of the feeling.

As I released my hands to break our link I blew a solid kick to his chest, clearing him across the expanse and into a tree which shattered into another and split it in two. "Why aren't you fighting back?"

My body instinctively hunched into a crouch – but this wasn't the same as the one from my first day as a vampire. This one wasn't defensive but protective. But who was I protecting? I snarled as the hazy images stayed in the background... It was helping me focus.

"Bella."

I glared at the pixie, "Stop calling me that."

"You have to stop now – this is not going to end well." The pixied fairy seemed to shake with terror as her eyes glazed over. "You will kill him." The last words slipped out of her mouth in a dazed, horrified whisper. I didn't notice the blonde blur that joined her across the field now. Indeed this could not end well. Did I have the strength to take on all three vampire myself – it seemed like the fight was gone in the dark haired boy, so maybe I could conquer the other two.

I backed away as the dark haired boy with the golden eyes approached me – a reaction I did not understand. But the full power of his eyes unleashed themselves on me – causing another painful crush on my still heart. My mind fogged and my fists unclenched, against my will. There was no explanation – this was not an emotion I reveled in unprompted by me. This calming reaction was only bought on during my call, and I was not humming the lullaby.

Perhaps it was this boy – but the passion in his eyes said otherwise. That was the emotion I should be sharing in. It wasn't him eliciting this reaction – I still could not bring myself to say his name – I could not bring myself to admit – I continued to fight against these images, now rushing to me as the calming fog lowered my defenses.

As the hazy cloud overpowered my mind it could not hinder my natural physical reaction. In an effort to release this energy – because now another feeling was invading my body, one that let me know I could not harm this beautiful boy – I dug my fist into the ground which sent shimmers and causing Alice and the boy t next to her o steady themselves. The boy in front of me continued his path to me, undeterred by my predatory reactions.

When I returned to my upright position, I felt his arms around me and I melted. This was who I needed. I released the building emotions and clutched onto my brother. "Skylar, get me out of here." The whisper contrasted the overpowering need for destruction I felt, that vibrated in my every molecule... I was thankful for Skylar's iron clasp around my torso when the boy stood in front of me and his pleading eyes turned dark with rage.

"You can't take her from me."

His words tugged at the growing pain in my heart – the images in my mind – the feelings swelled and the memories – the memories finally released as a booming roar released from my chest. The images – Renee and Phil, Charlie, Charlie's house, my rusty Chevy truck, Forks High school, Biology, Mushroom ravioli, my room, his Volvo, his arms around me, him – and when I fell down on my knees – exhausted from the blur of images, the flood of knowledge – I rasped, raw emotion spilling into my voice "Edward."

He matched my actions and knelt in front of me, his face tender and glazed over with love – the love I had stolen from so many men for their mate – I reached a trembling hand to his face. It was no longer cold.

"My Edward." The simple words conveyed the truth. My truth, that in any space and time, I was his. I belonged to him.

He nodded against my hand. And in this small embrace, in this small declaration I could share in his love. I didn't need his blood. I saw his love for me. I saw his desire for me. I saw the joy of us. I saw the memories he carried, that he lived tortured in. And it was overwhelming – overpowering. It was beautiful. It was all encompassing and all knowing. My hands slipped around him, clutching his body to mine as close as I could, ignoring the eyes on us: Skylar's shocked expression, Alice's exuberance and Jasper – Jasper who at this moment was sending needless calming waves to me still – his usual stoic expression broken by a simple smile.


	6. Chapter six: Bella

Chapter Six: Bella

Days later we were still occupying our hideout in the Cullen house, my fevering lips were still on his, burning for more time. This time – this feeling I could loose myself in. The hours seemed to flash by as seconds. Time moved too fast for me. I wanted it to stand still. I wanted to live in this heaven as my new emotions found a home in my heart. It felt like there hadn't been the sixty plus years of solitude we both suffered in. I had not known true joy until this very moment.

The darkness in the room did not affect the gaze I was drinking in of him. It was mid-day – a sunny day -- but the shut-out curtains he used closed us in a darkness and stillness we now welcomed. It was not the darkness of the murky waters but that of lovers. This was the darkness that despite the voices that we both heard of our families' exchanging their histories fooled our hearts into believing this world was only ours. We were the only two present in this time and space.

My hand traveled down the buttons on his shirt – releasing them as I did – I wanted to feel my skin against his, finally. I memorized the feel of him, smiling at the shuddered response. My lips danced across his neck, licking at the skin and reeling in his taste. I did not want to be without it for another second. I kissed up to his jaw and over took his lips with mine, as my teeth grazed his lowered lip and my tongue begged for entrance into the sweet nectar collecting in his mouth.

There was no pulling away this time, because I didn't need the air nor was I breakable. We had time to make up for, decades to recall. After spending the first night explaining what we were up to the past sixty years, well more like what I was up to – he locked himself away in whichever room belonged to him in any Cullen house they occupied over the decades, and hunted only when his black, purple shaded eyes demanded it. He let the murky waters swallow him whole, succumbing to the hopeless when he learned of my death.

I reluctantly told him about my power and the blood I'd spilled. He chuckled at my reasoning – a response I wasn't expecting – he surmised that I was trying to find myself. That's why I was drawn to couples in love. When I asked him why we weren't together all those years, he said that was a story for another day. And in its inherit sadness, I wasn't ready to find out so instead I continued to revel in this cocoon of warmth, found only in him. I didn't argue because I wanted this. I had walked this earth for over sixty years never knowing myself and in a day I had everything back. I had my life, my name and my love all in an instant.

When I surprised him hours later with a kiss for every inch of his skin, he laughed at my tenacity. It took me only twenty-three minutes to do it. I didn't want to rush so I completed the task in human speed, providing feathery kisses for every inch, exposed and unexposed. I wanted to bask in this newfound comfort. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt with my family – they were both unparalleled strong feelings – perhaps the attachment to Edward was stronger because even in its unknown absence I searched for it.

I took in the site of his beauty – his naked brilliance and fought back a whimper. Truly I no longer needed those muddy images I stole from men to appreciate this emotion humans only felt a fraction of, because my powerful mind could fully appreciate the feeling coursing through me now. I understood the love that caused my body to hum in ecstasy. The tingling I felt as his feather touches worshiped my body was indescribable. In our passion the rest of the world fell away and the screams I released drove the others to leave the Cullen residence. I couldn't find the energy to feel embarrassed. This was our passion finally getting its release.

I didn't know how long we were laying limbs intertwined. The activities that marked this day were endless. It was a shared experience we never had the opportunity for during my human years. He was the only memory I relished from those years and this offering of my body cemented our love. I did not comprehend how I could ever forget this angel. I did not understand why I could let such memories of him forsake me. His words broke me out of my reverie.

"Maybe we should rejoin the rest of the world?"

He was unconvincing. The question was laughable as his teeth nibbled on my throat. A moan escaped my lips, "That is a ridiculous request."

"I'm sure everyone would love to see you."

It occurred to me I hadn't realized the families were back, but that's not what bothered me. "You would share me," I teased, fighting the pout when he pulled away to hold my gaze.

"Never." His lips crushed into mine and the growl that built in his chest did unspeakable, torturous things for me.

"I could spend forever here, lost with you."

I felt his smile against my collarbone at my words and my hands tugged at his hair pulling him impossibly close. His hand locked around my wrists like iron fetes as he pulled back. That was reminiscent of a few human memories with him I did not care for. He kissed the pout off my lips.

"Everyone is wondering when they're gonna see you."

"Edward," that sound elicited a different reaction from me now – one of pure pleasure. "I don't care." I wrapped my legs around him to keep him in place. "You're the only one I want to see."

"We'll have an eternity of that." He kissed my neck and slowly trailed the kissed to my lips, after a moment he broke away. "Esme is itching at the chance find out what you've been up to – Alice is coming up the stairs to retrieve you. She thinks we've had enough time together."

"I disagree –"

"So do I. But if we don't get dressed, she's gonna get an eye full."

My legs dropped to my sides and he let go of my wrists. I watched him get dressed in a hurry – it didn't seem like his natural state. "You look better naked."

He walked over to me, in black dress pants and a power blue button down shirt, and sat next to my hip. He dragged a finger from my chin down my throat and torso. He stopped at my belly button and traced circles around it. The crooked smile that caused my heart to race in my human form still had the same dizzying effect sans the fluttering heart. He placed a soft, gentle kiss over my still heart. "I'll get you some clothes from Alice's closet." He looked over at our torn garments on the floor. "Since those are destroyed."

"No need." Alice's voice trilled at the door and Edward reluctantly raised the sheets to cover my exposed body.

"You could knock."

"I've already scene it – you have no idea how much I had to focus to tune out your futures." She scrunched her nose playfully.

I smiled at the exuberance in her form as she laid a change of clothes on the bed for me. "Thank you." And when I wrapped my hand around her wrist before she could make her exit she saw the sentiment in my eyes. It was a thank you for remembering me – for fighting. For helping me find myself again. She smiled once more and made her speedy exit.

Edwards hand ran down my bare back and I laid my head on his shoulder and leaned into him as he held me closer. "I'm not ready to leave yet."

"Don't tempt me. I could keep you here forever." His hand rubbed small circles on my lower back. "Ugh ... now Emmett is wondering whether we're gonna give him and Rosalie a run for their money – and I really don't want Emmett wondering about our sex life –"

"I'm betting we could." He groaned as I pulled him into another passionate kiss – I was glad he was strong enough for the both of us. I only pulled away when his next words sunk in between my fevered kisses.

"We go downstairs, say hi and then we have the rest of the night. Now that you don't require sleep we can have the whole night."

After I reluctantly pulled on the royal blue baby doll dress Alice provided, Edward pulled me to him.

"I promise it won't stay on long." He examined the silky material, running it between his fingers. "Maybe I – Bella, there's something I have to tell you."

"Anything," I gazed into his dark eyes and ran my fingers over the purple bruising around his eyes. "You should feed soon."

"I love you, Bella."

"You said that already." I smiled at the memory of our reunion in the meadow when he said the words as we pulled away from each other, and also ever time he uttered them in the days following amidst our activities.

"I will never stop reminding you. Now that I have you back – I will tell you every chance I get, Bella."

I smiled. Those words caused a tingling sensation all over my body. I played with his hair, taking in the glorious sight once more. "Well in that case never stop saying that either," when his brow furrowed I further explained. "Never stop saying my name, Edward." A smile tugged at my lips. "Don't ever stop saying my name."


	7. Chapter seven: Broken

Chapter seven: Broken

"So all this time – you've had no memory of who you were – are?" Carlisle questioned in his inquisitive tone. His professional expression confirmed his medical diagnosis of hysterical amnesia, but there had never been a vampiric case. He was trying the puzzle that was me.

"Yes," Edward squeezed my hand as he looked down at me. I still couldn't meet his gaze, the things he did to me I shouldn't be feeling in the presence of our families.

"What do you remember?" Lela asked, her motherly concern shining through. I could tell she was still uneasy in this situation.

"Bits and pieces. I remember Renee, my mother." The word slipped out of my mouth before I had time to think, but the reaction Lela had was so instantaneous that I was the only one who caught it – and perhaps Jasper. "Phil, her husband and Charlie. I remember Phoenix and coming to Forks. Days with Edward." The smile widened at those memories. "The Cullens, of course, but that it starts getting hazy after that. The last thing I remember is the morning of my human birthday. I was with Edward and Alice –" I looked at her for clarity, because the image was still fuzzy as best. I couldn't pull this memory for the life of me.

"Didn't Edward tell you what happened?" Carlisle asked.

"No." Alice answered before either of us could.

Carlisle nodded at Edward – that was familiar – something Edward and his family did when they had silent conversations with Edward.

"Perhaps your mind in an effort to protect itself – during the change repressed..." Carlisle words trailed off as he thought out loud.

"Protect itself from what? I don't understand." I looked questioningly at the pained faces in the room: Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Alice and Jasper, even Rosalie – they all shared a memory one I couldn't focus on. Not without their blood. My connection to them wasn't as tangible as Edward's, I surmised that much. I looked at Edward – but he was blocking me. His memories were focusing on something else other than his family's. "What aren't you telling me?"

Esme was at my side at once, and her hand caressed my face like that of my mothers. "You have to understand – it was for the best –"

"Esme–" Edward cut her off.

"She needs to know – it's best if she finds out soon, especially in the company of those who love her." Alice whispered in the corner.

"Stop being so cryptic – Just tell me." I pleaded then I felt it. A rush of calm. "Stop it, Jasper." I shot him a look and returned my gaze to Esme – signaling for her to continue.

"What you don't remember – the thing that caused all of this..." I did not remembered her as a person who struggled for words. "We left, Edward left so you would be safe." My gaze shot to him, my brows furrowing – what was she saying – my mind could not come to this ridiculous conclusion she was offering.

"What – I don't – you – " Now I was struggling for words and even my powerful vampiric mind could not wrap itself around the sheer unbelievable matter at hand.

"I left so you could have a normal human life." And he stopped blocking me and let himself remember. He remembered that fateful day with painful clarity.

He remembered surprising me in the morning with Alice to wish me a happy birthday. He remembered how the day dragged until his memory slowed when we were in my former living room as he recited Romeo's words to me. This memory was the one colored with the height of his love for me. It was beautiful and overwhelming. Then it shifted. There was a darkness to the memories, a despair. I remembered the strong alluring scent of my blood, the disregarded silver rectangle and Jasper. His stoic expression was primal, teeth snapping and venom spilling from his mouth. He was charging at me.

That feeling I was all too aware of. I sensed all the feelings in that memory – the hurt, the pain, the disgust and the conclusion. That memory was followed by a series of images. A silent Edward – no – pensive Edward. Dark Edward. Distant Edward.

Then there was the goodbye. The cold kiss on my forehead and the falling leaves. _He didn't want me_. The despair over took me and I wrapped my arms around my body. The nagging pain was back. It pulled at my still heart – I doubled over in pain at this memory.

I could no longer run. There was a restlessness in my legs as they searched for him in the raining dark forest which my human eyes could not decipher. I felt the pain fill my body. The pain from running, from the hole in my heart and from the emptied tears in my eyes. I wasn't sure whether the aching scream was in the memory or in the distant present.

I felt time slip as I sunk into the earth, the mud welcoming me. I remembered the cold grasp and the darkness that ensued. The fire haired woman – my maker. "Victoria." This word brought me to the present. I was no longer surround by the Cullens. Esme wasn't at my feet and Edward was no longer by my side. I stood with my family now, as Skylar held me up. Rangi placed a fevered hand on my cheek and the growls I hadn't noticed coming from my chest calmed.

I fought off the waves of calm that Jasper sent, successful. "You left me."The words were low and filled with hate, but everyone in the room could hear them.

"Bella –"

"Don't call me that."

"It was for the best." His words weren't convincing, but the pain in his voice assured me he knew the absurdity of those words.

"Perhaps you shouldn't come any further." Skylar spat out as he held me against his iron frame in reaction to my crouching stance, angling himself between me and Edward.

The pain in Edward's eyes wasn't helping my resolve. I couldn't stay here another moment. In an instance he was inches from my face, his hand reaching up to touch me. Lela held his wrist in a vice, stopping him.

"You've done enough." I had never heard such malice in her voice before.

"Please." Edward pleaded.

His eyes held me in a trance – his memories invading my mind. I took a needless breathe – the hum that escape my throat unintentionally no longer calmed me. It was just another sad reminder. I experienced the pain I caused to those women when I drained their mate, tenfold. All their emotions trapped me at once. "You did this – you broke us." My lips quivered as each word escape my lips.

"Forgive me?"

His melodic voice was just another form of torture. It was just another harsh memory. I prayed for those days I wandered the earth in sweet ignorance. With my teeth clench the snarky words sounded more like a command than the request it was. "Get me out of here." I slipped out of his path when Edward reached out for me. "Now."

And Skylar did. He ran with me in his arms as I left the dizzying scene. The pained and worried faces. Edward's memories were clouding my anger. The scenes that unfolded unwantedly before me were confusing the reaction. The feelings emitting from his family were also overbearing, another determent from focusing on my own. I could not forgive him simply because everyone wanted me to.

He'd turned his back on me. He betrayed our love. Perhaps the men I drained were not a way of finding him or even me, it was his punishment. I was destroying them like he destroyed me. I wasn't reveling in the joy of love but in its inevitable hypocrisy. I was drunk with power as I crushed this divine emotion. I severed the connection those foolish lovers shared in. I was Velia, the conqueror. The silly human died the day Victoria rescued me from my despair.


	8. Chapter eight: Humanity

Chapter eight: Humanity

Time escaped me once more. The emotions settled and the memories visited me less. I drowned in the memories I lived in. I welcomed the murky waters and pushed away those poisoning, impossibly ethereal images that held Edward. The human memories were easy enough to repress but the vampire reunion we shared, those were almost impossible with my perfect recall.

In the empty days, I visited Charlie's grave. I said goodbye to my devoted father and apologized for leaving him alone. When I caught wind of his lingering memorized scent, I followed it to the outskirts of town, surprised by its intensity. It was more than the decomposed grave. The scent was mixed in with my human scent in a storage unit. I disregarded the puzzled thoughts that flooded my mind and assumed perhaps he stored everything away during his quest to find me. I went through the belongings and quickly came across his journals.

I sniffed the leather bound journals and read through them taking my time. I rediscovered my deceased father. His quiet resolve, the silent passions he had. Soon I came across the obsession that ruled his life before his early death, the investigation into my death. He notated that when missing children weren't found in the first seventy-two hours then they were presumed dead, but he held out hope until after the first anniversary of my disappearance.

He also had a list of suspects, mainly grifters long gone but at the end in all capital letters was Edward Cullen. The underlined name had small notes next to it that seemed to be possible motives. The one that stood out was my leaving him. I chuckled at the harshness of that reality. I wasn't the one who did the leaving. Charlie truly blamed Edward for my death – and I didn't know if I disagreed.

He managed to track down the Cullens once five years after my disappearance and when he confronted Carlisle, he was told that Edward was admitted into an asylum shortly after the news of my disappearance.

I wondered if that were true – a part of me amused at the idea of an insane vampire. I wondered if I would be included in that list if it were possible. I cursed the human emotions I let seep into my subconscious as I remembered Edward. His name no longer caused me pain. The pain I got over, but the anger – that was a burning desire.

I sat back on my heels and wondered if I could finish Victoria's mission. If I could destroy the human in me so completely by destroying the one existing attachment. It was a fleeting, but tempting thought. If I truly wanted his destruction it would have to wait – to decide now would alert the pixie. Her name was the one that caused me pain now.

When I felt the unnatural breeze disturb the air, I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"How did you find me?" My voice was a whisper because I was unsure if I could speak without emotion breaking into it. I couldn't control these new found irritants.

"I can see you now, Be" she sighed, switching gears "this is my unit."

That caught me by surprise. I turned and my eyes narrowed, challenging her.

"After the news. After Charlie came to see us – I followed his future, kept a close eye on him. When he passed, there was no one to plan the funeral – Renee came and packed up a few belongings, mostly yours. She attended the ceremony and let me know I could take care of the rest." Alice stepped closer to me. "I think she wanted me to have a few reminders of you."

"Not that you would need them – " I couldn't help the pain that broke in my voice. " I still don't understand. Why you kept them so long."

"You were my best friend – Edward's world. I knew one day... when he finally broke out of his coma, he would need to say goodbye."

"I can't do this, Alice." The word burned my throat and stung my eyes. "Why couldn't you just leave it alone." The anger was gone now. It melted away the moment I saw her angelic face and the despair I was holding off washed over me. My lip quivered – it was as close to tears as I was going to get.

"You needed to know."

"Did I really – or was it you. You didn't do this for me. You did this for him," when she opened her mouth to protest I conceded. "As much as you cared about me, it was for him –"

"And you, Bella." It was her turn to cut me off. "Stop being a child about this. You are Bella. Your name is Bella. You can't run from this – you shouldn't. It will only destroy the both of you, completely. You need to get over this, Bella because you are alive, by some miracle you are alive despite your magnetism to danger and so is Edward, in spite of his suicidal tendencies."

She moved closer to me and when she wrapped her arm around me I leaned my body into hers, desperate for the connection. I was sick of this reality – this anger I lived in. I was sick of the despair that ripped at me even now. I yearned for another pair of arms around me, another scent to enthrall me. Hers were not the arms I needed.

"You need to forgive him."

"I don't think I know how." And it was true. The reason I was go angry was because I wasn't sure I could forgive. I would rather be connected to him in such a passionate way than know the love we shared was gone. I was scared I couldn't let go of the searing hate I had because of his abandonment. "He just left me – by myself."

"For your own good. At the time, we were a clear and present danger. There was no way of knowing what would happen with you and Charlie. He warned me from looking into your future."

"I was all alone, Alice." I pulled away from her. "I've been all alone, without him. I've lost myself and I'm scared I can't find my way back."

"I won't push you, Bella. But you haven't been the only one suffering. We have all kept you with us, even against the reality that you were gone. You have stayed in our hearts."

And with that she made her way to the door, but before she left she turned to me with sad pleading eyes. "You couldn't hurt him worse if you tried."

I knew what she meant and in the silence I finally let down my guard and let the emotions over take me. I felt the despair and the hurt that nearly killed me as a human the short time I had to grieve my loss. I mourned the death of my parents and the missed goodbyes. I mourned the lost years that fell on all of us. The lost time I spent in the unbeknownst self-inflicted prison.

My throat tightened with emotion as I looked at the picture of us all those years ago -- of myself and Edward. I could still see the pain clear in his eyes due to his grave decision. I yearned for the tears that burned my face as a human.

I finally mourned the loss closest to me. I mourned the loss of my human years and the foolishness of giving them to Victoria. I mourned the love that led me to these empty days. I was finally ready to let go and as I hummed my lullaby – Bella's Lullaby I beckoned him. I called for my heart, my humanity back to me. And when I looked back up at the beautiful boy with the dark auburn hair and golden dead eyes, it broke my heart to see his pain – pain I petulantly inflicted.

"Forgive me?" My words were lost as his kiss over took my hungry lips.


	9. Chapter nine: Yours

Chapter nine: Yours

When he released me from his kiss I moaned at the loss of sensation. His urgent fevered lips wiped away the lingering despair. His intoxicating scent bathed me in my new found love for him. This was a stronger love than that my feeble human heart could hold. It was all encompassing.

"I'm sorry." I broke the silence after a few minutes of gazing into each other's eyes.

"There's nothing to forgive – nothing to apologize for." His hand brushed down my cheek and rested against my throat as his thumb traced my lower lip.

"There is," and I took a deep unneeded breathe, trying to find the courage for the rest of my words. "I'm sorry I got myself killed. I should've known that what you did – was for my own good. I should have known the blasphemy in your words as you uttered them. I'm sorry I forgot you, for all this time. I'm sorry that after our short reunion I was stubborn enough to leave you – the same hateful thing I cursed you for – for so long." I didn't want to count the days I spent without him but my mind already had the number: 17.

"Velia – "

"Bella," I corrected him. "I am yours after all." And the kiss he responded with was leading. It ignited a passion I didn't fight. My hungry mouth devoured him and my searching hands roamed his body. I grabbed at the shirt that separated my hands from his skin and the buttons popped off releasing him to me. He shrugged out of the shirt and I climbed onto his lap and he pulled the dress off of me.

His lips worked overtime as they worked every inch of my body. The moans that filled the air belonged to us both. My body reacted to the throaty growl coming from him and his hand burned trails into my skin. His strokes and lips were more urgent that he'd ever been. There was a need that matched my own and as I got lost in him – his memories flooded my mind. His sharp memories over powered my fuzzy humans ones. The first sight of me was clouded with his thirst for my blood but the love was overwhelming in the images that soon flashed over: the first lunch we shared, the missing bottle cap hidden in is trouser pocket, the meadow.

"Edward," my growl wrapped around his name as the emotions in the meadow filled my senses. The love he felt was enough to bring me to my release but the desire – the hunger for my body not my blood – ignited my passion. I wrapped my legs around him as I felt him inside me. This was the moment it happened – this was when my temperament changed and I felt it all. I felt the worship and love and the hope and desire. The commitment. The happiness and most importantly the vow. I experience these emotions through his darkened passion filled eyes. The one that brimmed over the edge was his vow. His vow to never leave my side, to spend eternity with me.

And in that moment I felt the humanity course through me. I felt his feeling mirror my own. I felt the hole fill in my heart – and the pain disappeared – for there was nothing that could reach me. He was the reason for my existence and this time around there was no end. There was no mortality hanging over my head – no imminent threat from him or his family or anyone else. There was just him and me and the promise of forever.

Countless hours later my body was still clinging to him. I did not want to let go. "Marry me?" My words broke the silence. He shifted so that his face was leaning against my chest, staring up at me. My hand froze in his hair as I waited with baited breathe for his response. I wasn't sure why I was nervous.

"You needn't ask." He placed a gentle kiss over my heart and ran his hand down my side and then intertwined it with the one resting on my stomach.

I loved how his skin matched mine. My pout returned when he sat up, creating distance between us. I leaned up on my elbows in an effort to close the space between us.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed." His crooked smile matched with his hooded eyes sent shivers down to my toes.

"Why?"

"Silly girl, I can't walk around naked."

"I don't mind."

"I'm sure you'd be the only one."

I chuckled at his words. Clearly any girl would tear at this magnificently beautiful sight. "Now who's being silly, " I smiled up at him and resigned to his will as I slipped back into my dress. " Where are we going?" I followed his gaze which was fixed on the discarded I held picture of us earlier.

"Stupid fool," he mumbled to himself.

I was instantaneously at his side. I kissed his shoulder as the image of his recount of our goodbye all those years ago flashed through my mind. I cringed at the amount of pain inherit in the dark memory. "It in the past – we're here now – alive together." The sincerity Alice uttered earlier that blessed day washed over me for a second time. Truly she was responsible for this miracle and I knew just how to make it up for her.

He reached down and placed a loving kiss on my lips. The passion was not with rushed urgency but gentle need. This reminded me of the years forever would bring us and I arched my body into his kiss, needing more than ever to enclose the space between us.


	10. Chapter ten: Our Family

Chapter ten: Our Family

The pairs of eyes in the room that studied me, made me feel uneasy. Granted after our last gathering they had reason. Skylar stood one side of me while Edward closeness on the other sent shockwaves through me, especially where he held my hand. I reveled in the feeling and a part of my pain replayed the fuzzy human memories of us and the few vampiric memories. This calmed me.

Edward called both families to let them know that we had news. We gathered in my house this time, our living room was understated. Not as lavish as the brilliantly light Cullen home. The warm colors calmed me here. I figured that was Lela's intent when she decorated the house. I looked at my surrogate mother. She was nothing like Renee, except for her love for me. I knew she saved me. The day her and Skylar ran into me, was the day I found the road back to Edward. I doubt I would have found my way back to Forks without them. I would've wandered the world still aimlessly searching for the connection – for the love I was missing.

"Are you sure?" Lela's trill broke me out of my thoughts.

"I can handle this – I know who I am now, mother." Her eyes warmed at sentiment. "You will always be my family – but Edward is my home, my heart."

Rangi smiled at this. "I always knew there was more for you." This was as close to a blessing as I was going to get from them. Rangi would warm Lela to the idea, after all they would always live in my heart.

"You don't have to leave." Skylar said not meeting my gaze, but our mother's.

"I won't be far." And the whisper that escape did nothing to console them. They were the only family I'd ever known and their concern was genuine. What if I had another relapse. "I know everything now – I know what I need." Edward squeezed my hand when my words trailed off.

"I will take care of her – make sure she's safe." The passion in Edward's voice suggest this was more than a promise, it was a vow.

"So I take it you won't leave again?" Skylar's tone was short.

"Sky-" I glared at him, but Alice's word cut me off.

"You don't need to be a psychic to know he could never do that."

"I left him too." And this whisper wasn't lost in the silence of the room, nor was the pain. Edward squeezed my hand again and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"It was a natural reaction – you were hurt. I promise I will never hurt you like that again. For what my actions have caused I am truly sorry, Bella – "

And in this moment I lost myself in his words, in his pain. "Shhh. Don't be. We have forever to reconcile the past. Never again will we spend a day apart."

"Never a moment apart." He corrected and I had to smile at this. Perhaps he was right. With no human moments interrupting us, perhaps we would spend every moment apart. We could even hunt together.

"It's good to have you back." The owner of these words shocked me out of our private moment. Rosalie... was happy to have me back – she continued when she registered the shock on my face. "We truly missed you." And the sincerity in her eyes won me over. I didn't know if it was what it did to Edward and the members of her family that caused this reaction but I was thankful for Rosalie's acceptance. I could tell Carlisle felt the same way when he placed a hand on her shoulder.

Esme wrapped her hands around me. "Welcome back." And with the quiver in her lip – I could tell this meant the most to her. She was glad to have her son back. She was happy to finally have me in her home. This was an inevitability she discussed once with me before, but the fuzzy human memories didn't understand her meaning. But now – I understood – Esme always knew one way or another I would spend forever with her son.

When she released me from her embrace I turned to Alice, where she stood in the corner, next to an unyieldingly stoic Jasper. I reluctantly left Edward's side and walked to her. I wrapped my arms around her and the gratitude I felt to her, for her words, for the knowledge she help me come to shone through. I leaned back, with my arms still wrapped around her and smiled. "I'm sure you already know this but it still needs to be said. As my maid-of-honor I would love it if you could take on the additional task of planning the wedding." I steeled myself as she pulled me back into her embrace, holding me a little too tight.

Edward was at my side, concern flashing across his face. "Alice, careful."

She giggled at his words, "Don't be silly. She one of us now." She let me go and I finally saw the exuberance I missed the past couple of weeks. I now had the best of both worlds. Human and vampire life, I had the best opportunity of anyone. I had three very loving families and I would spend the rest of my life with these wonderful people who accepted me, faults and all.

It was Skylar's turn to embrace me now. I didn't need my power to feel the sadness in his embrace. "I can't believe I'm not gonna have my little sister bugging me all the time."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. You know how I love torturing you." This statement brought an amused light to his eyes.

"Can I have one last night with my baby girl?" Lela's voice was low and pleading. This broke my heart. I ran to her side and wrapped my arms around her.

"Of course." And I did need a proper night to say goodbye – not forever but now that I was becoming a Cullen, I didn't know what it meant for my family.

I looked at Edward apologetically. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes but the words reminded me of what was true. "We have forever."

The Cullens spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other. Skylar and Lela finally warmed to them once they saw the love they had for me. They reeled in the stories from my human days and laughed at the clumsiness that still sporadically littered my now graceful nature. While the families spoke Edward guided me outside into the cool night air and wrapped his arms around me as we gazed at the star filled sky.

He peppered kisses on my neck and jaw reciting lines from different love stories, mainly focusing on Romeo and Juliet. He remembered that it was my favorite story as a human – but now, with full appreciation of his melodic voice I fell in love with the story all over again for different reasons

After a few moments of silence, he said. "Not even death can part us, love. My only regret is that I was not the one to lead you to your fate."

I smiled, a sad smile. It was true – the only thing that would have made this moment perfect is if his lips were my last human memory. But even though they were Victoria's – I imaged they were his – they still brought me to this glorious night, to this heavenly man and the wonderful people that now occupied my living room.

"It doesn't matter who my maker was – you were the reason for all of this. You brought me into this fantastical world and it's you I belong to. I know the pain you would have suffered if it were you who ended my human life – and for that I'll owe Victoria, but the end result is that you and me: we have an eternity of happiness ahead of us." But the truth of those words were not what overwhelmed me. It was the passion in his lips as they over took mine. It was the future my mind saw. The endless pleasure it showed me. The time that no longer mattered because it was well spent. I had found my counterpart and this time nothing would tear us apart.

The END of this journey...

A/N : I hope everyone enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. There weren't many reviews so I don't know how you felt. Anyway I am thinking about perhaps writting a sequel and changing this up. This one was more of a fluff piece, if I do write a sequel I think it will be a lot more drama. Perhaps Edwards struggle with dealing with Bella's vampirism or Alice and Bella's relationship maybe both. But if you have any plot ideas / requests, you can always post them as a review or private message me. For those of you who liked Skylar and the other family perhaps it will involve them a lot more. The sequel once I hammer the plot will be a lot more of an ensemble piece, perhaps told from Bella's point of view or a third person omniscient. Anyway just let me know if you'd like me to continue, otherwise thank you so much for reading!!


	11. Author's Note

Author's note:

For all those of you who have favorited, alerted and reviewed this story I want to take the time to thank you. In an effect to adequately do so, I am currently going to be revamping this story. Adding a little more description and dialogue, along with background because I am working on a sequel. I will leave this story as is, because the new updated version will change some things and leave it more open ended for a sequel, so for those of you interested in the changes visit the other version. Hopefully, you will not be disappointed.

But due to my hectic schedule the updates will probably not be as frequent, but I will be working on it to make sure to thoroughly please you all. Due to the dismal reviews I was ready to give up and call this one venture failed but some of you have inspire me with your private messages and continued visits. This second version will be more a labor of love than the original because sad to say I was a lot more inspired by the first version to get my story out there rather than thoroughly work on it.

I hope you will enjoy the updates and as of now I will re-work each chapter and then post the sequel. I am also working on another story during this time. That story is called Hating You and has a different feel than this one, a little more of a melodrama. I don't know how exactly how it will differ but the Bella is going to be very different from this one or at least her circumstances will be.

So again thank you and please always share you thoughts with me as they do inspire my work.

With love,

Sophie


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